When Linda Greene and her husband Les married,
they knew they wanted to start a family right away. After countless doctor’s
visits and tests, they learned some disheartening news — they would not be able
to conceive. Linda’s heart ached as she watched mothers push their babies in
strollers at the mall. Would she ever hold a child of her own in her arms?
Linda and Les decided she would quit her job as a
physical education teacher to reduce her stress. And so, after nearly 20 years
in her field, Linda left her job to stay home full time. The decision proved
difficult at first. Accustomed to a busy lifestyle, Linda found herself forced
to slow down. She and Les began discussing adoption and grew excited about the
idea.
Linda and Les both agreed they wanted to adopt
more than one child. Growing up with four brothers, Les hoped to adopt a girl
first. The couple researched different agencies and decided to adopt from
China. They then began the lengthy process, filling out extensive paperwork and
undergoing fingerprinting and background checks. After completing all the
steps, they sat back, waited and prayed.
“With adoption, sometimes you wait and wait, but
when you get that referral, you have to be ready to go right away,” Linda said.
In March, 2002, Linda and Les received the call
they’d been praying for. There was a baby girl in China who could be theirs in
a matter of weeks. They saw a photo of the darling 10-month-old girl, and they
immediately fell in love. The following month, they were on a plane to China to
meet her for the first time.
Linda and Les made the trip with three other
families, all who were planning to adopt, too. They arrived with butterflies in
their stomachs, unsure of what to expect. Though they’d seen photos of the
little girl, they had no idea how big she was, so they brought outfits in
various sizes for her to wear. Over the next 12 days, the couple bonded with
the other families, sharing their stories. After much anticipation, they were
presented with a perfectly healthy baby girl. They named her Ashley.
From the start, Ashley was an easy-going baby.
She slept much of the time, allowing Linda and Les to sleep, too. They heeded
the advice of other families who had adopted, limiting company in an attempt to
bond with their daughter during the first critical weeks. Linda embraced her
new role as a mother, thanking God for filling her arms and her heart.
Not wanting to wait too long before adopting a
second child, the couple began looking into a boy from Japan. But the agency’s
contact in that country did not have any babies up for adoption, so Linda and
Les researched other potential countries. They looked into Kazakhstan and were
told adoptions from that country would take between six to nine months. But
halfway through the process, the country changed some rules, making adoption
more difficult. A year passed, then two, then three. Linda and Les kept busy
with Ashley, all the while praying and anxiously waiting. Linda’s father was
diagnosed with cancer, and she prayed he would get to meet their new child. He
passed away in September, and in January, four years after beginning the
lengthy adoption process, they finally received some good news. The country had
a little boy for them. The news was bittersweet, as Linda’s father would never
get to meet his grandson.
With Ashley in tow, Linda and Les embarked on
their trip to Kazakhstan, excited and nervous at the same time. They had not
seen a photo of their son and did not know what to expect. When they reached
the orphanage, known in Kazakhstan as the baby house, the workers presented
them with a 2-year-old child. But they decided they wanted to meet the
10-month-old boy they’d been initially referred to.
The workers brought the infant into the room and
sat him on their lap. “Do you like him?” they asked.
“Yes!” Linda and Les cried.
The couple spent a few minutes bonding with the
baby and agreed to adopt him. A few weeks later, they hired an escort, who flew
the baby to them. At last, the wait was over. God had answered their prayers.
Their family was now complete.
Linda and Les named their son Cameron. Unlike
Ashley’s early days, Cameron’s proved more challenging. Red bumps that looked
like flea bites popped up all over his skin, and doctors diagnosed him with
eczema. But the new parents soon learned he had scabies, a highly contagious
condition. Cameron then developed pneumonia and landed in the emergency room.
After a lengthy recovery process, things settled down, and the newly united family
fell into a routine.
While Linda and Les loved being parents, their
journey did not come without difficulty. Ashley remained easy going, but
Cameron struggled with sensory issues, resisting any type of affection. As he
grew older, other behavioral problems emerged. Linda, now a full-time
stay-at-home mother, sometimes found herself at her wit’s end. She read
countless books and took Cameron to therapists, but those doctors only
encouraged behavior modification. Linda knew her son needed something more.
“I felt so alone,” Linda said. “I was really
struggling.”
She then learned about the adoption support
groups through Saddleback Church and decided to check one out. To her relief,
she met other parents who were struggling just like her. Together, they shared
stories and ideas and prayed with one another. For the first time, Linda did
not feel so alone.
“It was so nice to go to a place where people
knew what I was going through,” Linda said. “There is power in that. They could
extend empathy because they had been there themselves.”
Through the group, Linda stumbled onto new
resources, including the very insightful work by Dr. Karyn Purvis. Her book,
The Connected Child, helped Linda tremendously. In reading the book and
watching accompanying videos, Linda learned that traditional methods of therapy
would not work with her son because of the trauma he’d endured as an infant. He
faced unique challenges as an adopted child and would require a unique
approach.
“I learned the behavioral issues stemmed from the
trauma and disconnect Cameron faced early in life,” Linda said. “This approach
taught me how to reverse and rewire his brain, allowing him to connect and
letting him have a voice.”
Linda began changing her parenting techniques, approaching
Cameron with newfound patience and unconditional love. She reminded him
repeatedly that he was safe in their family. She continued attending the
adoption support groups and reading up on how to connect with her child.
Through this process, she also received healing from her own childhood,
recognizing areas where she’d never connected with her family.
Today, Linda and Les enjoy a busy life with their
two adopted children. Ashley, now 16, loves drawing, playing tennis, and
spending time with her friends. Cameron, now 11, is a typical active boy and
loves baseball and football. He also enjoys attending Kids Small Group 401 at
Saddleback and learning about Jesus. As a family, they love hiking, camping,
and visiting their cabin. Linda attends the Saddleback adoption support group
every Tuesday morning and also a group at the Saddleback Rancho Capistrano
campus on Saturdays. She is beyond grateful for her new friends who continue to
pray for her, share stories, and encourage her even on the most challenging
days.
Linda and Les recognize that adoption — from
start to finish — is not an easy journey. But it is a gift, and one for which
they are eternally grateful to God. They love telling the children the story of
how God brought them into their home and into their hearts.
“We wanted to be parents so badly,” Linda said.
“To know you are raising a child who could have endured a very hard life, and
to be able to be a positive influence on them and show them God’s love, that
makes it all worth it.”
Learn more about adoption and foster care support
at saddleback.com/supportgroups.